Pokemon: Soulgold
by Warmpie56
Summary: My parody of Pokemon Heartgold/Soulsilver.
1. Prolouge

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

So, one day, I was playing this game for my DS. I won't tll you what it is, but it had to something with battles. As I count down the days til I get a Pokemon, I play video games. Anyway, I was walking along, throwing almost shpere-like items and getting into several battles before I finally got the message I was looking for; the one that can decide the fates of many, the one that could decide weather or not you are still on this Earth tomorrow:

"Friendly Spy Plane inbound".

Then, I heard my mom yell from the kitchen/her bedroom.

"Stryker, get down here!"

"I'm coming!" I yelled back. I had always wondered what she does in her spare time; read books, cook, stare blankly into space for all eternity, whatever. The point is, that woman can sleep on anything. Since I took the ENTIRE upstairs to myself like the selfish bastard I am, she mostly sleeps on a chair. I think.

When I got down there, my mom had a creepy, almost mentally-impared-person-like good attitude. It was nice to see her normal again.

"Stryker, honey, our neighbor Professer Elm has something he wanted to tell you!"

"Wait a minute...Is he finally going to give me a Pokemon?" I asked excitedly.

"I'm not sur...Stryker, where did you go?"

I ran to lab next to our house (oh yeah, like THAT'S never happened before), but something made me stop. I saw a red-haired guy near the side of the lab. As I walked up behind him, I heard him say, "So this is the famous Elm's lab..." I decided to mess with him. I walked up real quietly, real Solid-Snake-like, and whispered in his ear, "Here's Johnny!"

I don't remember much after that, but I do remember the cop asking me if I wanted to press charges against him while I was in the hospital. Use your imagination to figure out what happened. A few weeks later (painful weeks, I may add), I finally got to pick out a Starter Pokemon from Professer Elm.

"Hello, kid, are you a boy, or are you a girl?" he asked.

"The hell does it look like?!"

"Oh, so your a girl, then."

"No, I'm a guy. I have all the male parts and no female parts."

I could hear him mutter under his breath, "Yeah, right." Then, "What's your name?"

"Like I'd ever tell you my real name. The nickname's Stryker. Just Stryker."

"Ok, Stryker," he said, "you can have either the grass type Pokemon Chikorita, the frire type Pokemon Charmander or the water type Pokemon Mudkip."

"Number one, you mispelled fire, and number B, come on!" I said. "Don't you have anything good, like Gallade or Dragonite?"

"Look, kid, I'm not getting paided by your mom to hear your bitching. So just pick a goddamn Pokemon, since the shorter I am here, the more kids we can have."

"Fine...Wait, what?...I'm pretending like I didn't hear that. I'll have...Chikorita.

"Execellent choice," he said whilst shoving a Poke Ball in my face. "Now get out and never come back." He forcefully escorted me out and slammed the door in my face.

I took out the Poke Ball he gave me. As I did, I heard a familiar voice come up from no where. "S'up, bitch?"

I turned around and nearly fainted. That red-head was back!

"HOLY SHIT!" I shouted. Not that anyone would care. In fact, my own mother asked me to help prepare the "secret" party after I left. So I took out a switchblade from my back pocket. When you get jumped, you start carrying knives. Anyway, I cautiously walked up to him/her.

"Take a look." they said, holding a Poke Ball. Out of it came aa Pokemon, Cyndaquil to be exact. I didn't have to even think twice before coming to this conclusion: "You stole it?" A slight nod came as my answer. "How?"

"I know people."

"Ah, f*** this," I said. "I going on an adventure out to who knows where. I'll meat tons of friends and Pokemon. And this is where it begins!"

"You seem pretty confident."

"I am. And now I must leave New Bark Town. So shut the f*** up." I then left. I could here him hollering in the distance, "You used the wrong kind of meet!"

You know what, f*** that kid. I'm not getting into a game of one-upsmanship against a criminal, I thought to myself. As I cooled down enough and got ready to leave, I was thinking that my first day of my adventure could have gone better. I already knew from expirence that some days could have gone better.

Or worse.

A/N: 1. I have no idea why I censored the last two swear words lol

2\. If you want me to keep going, keep commenting and stuff!


	2. The Adventure Begins

A/N: I own nothing. But before we start with chapter 2, I want to say thanks to two people: The_Sasuke_Kid and a guest by the name of Grim Reaper for reviewing! The first review made me start this chapter but stop in the middle of it, and the second one was what made me finish it. So you can thank them for this chapter. Without further ado, let the story begin!

Chapter 2  
The Adventure Begins

I walked away from my unnamed rival and started to head toward Route Whatever when I was stopped by Professer Elm.

"Hey kid, wait up! I forgot to tell you something!"

I was kind of surprised to hear him. I thought he was with the rest of New Bark Town, partying, celebrating my not being in their town. "What is it?"

"I forgot to teach you how to catch Pokemon! Firstly, you blah blah blah, do stuff then you go into your"-He took a deep breath in-"BAG" He shouted, "Then you select a Poke Ball and touch the word USE on the Touch Screen."

"What the heck are you talking about!?"

"I don't know, to be honest. Well, now you know the gist of it so I'm leaving." He said before he turned around and left.

"Well, that was wierd." I said to myself. I took a few steps forward before realizing that the grass I was in was WAY higher than the grass right next to it. A few steps in the tall grass, and I saw something move. I sent out Chickorita just in case and catiously stepped forward before realizing that it was a Caterpie.

"Holy shit! That's a Caterpie." I said, smiling to myself. Then, out loud, "Chickorita, use Tackle!"

Chickorita (somehow) pulled out a football helmet out of it's hammerspace, put it on, then rammed into Caterpie.

"CATER!" it yelled before fainting. I utilized this opening to throw a Poke Ball that Prof. Elm dropped at the unconsious Caterpie. The ball rolled 3 times then made a *click* noise. I walked over to it, grabbed the ball and jumped while saying "I caught...a Caterpie!"

A random Trainer walked by, saying "So?"

"Good point." I said before getting an idea. "Hey, wanna battle?"

"Sure."

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a text box appears saying "PKMN Trainer Bob wants to fight!"

"What does that say?" Bob asked. "It looks like '!thgif ot stnaw boB reniarT NMKP' (How he pronouced that is beyond me.) Anyway, Voltorb, I choose you!" He yelled, sending out a Pokemon that resembeled a Poke Ball.

"Go, Chickorita!" I yelled, although Chickorita was ready to fight some more by that point. "Use Tackle!"

Chickorita charged at Voltorb, but Voltorb rolled out of the way, letting Chickorita faceplant into the ground.

"Your Pokemon's power level...It's *he then takes off his scouter* OVER NINE THOUSAND! There's only one way to beat you: Voltorb, use Self-Destruct!"

Voltorb began charging energy, and a single tear rolled down it's body-It knew it's fate. Meanwhile, a bored-looking Chickorita took two steps back. When Voltorb finally finished, the text box said:

"Voltorb used  
Self-Destruct!"

"But it missed!"

"Voltorb fainted!"

"Wha-but-how-whatthe-but-how-who-wha-huh-WHAT?" Bob said, dumbfound. The text box then said "Bob blacked out!" A few seconds later, Bob fell to the ground, knocked out cold. I didn't really know what to do, so I just tried gently kicking him, trying to get him to wake up. Then the box said "Stryker stole $8000 from Bob!" I did so, with the excuse of 'An older text box told me to do it.' As I entered Cherrygrove City, an old man approached me. I didn't realize since my Caterpie was still fainted and I was too busy looking for a Poke Center for it. I learned of his presence when he grabbed my arm and (forcibly) gave me the grand tour.

"That's the Poke Mart. They sell toys and magazines. This is the Poke Center. They have beds. This is the ocean. You can try to fish for a Gyarados, but always get a Magikarp. And this, this is my home." He let go of my arm and said "Oh yeah, before I forget, here are my shoes. Take them or else."

You got the Old Man's Shoes! Run fast by putting them on or by holding B!

"What does 'hold down B' mean?" I asked the creepy old man.

"How should I know? I'm just a creeeeeeeeepy old man." He responded. "Come back anytime, love muffin."

I was offically creeped out by this, so I just turned around and ran into the Poke Center. There was a guy in front of me, talking to Nurse Joy, and he sounded like he was talking between sobs.

"P-please Nurse Joy, you gotta save my Metapod. He's *sniff* he's gonna die..."

I was getting sick of waiting, so I punched him in the face, KOing him while saying, "Out of the way kid! Some people have real problems!" Then, I turned to Nurse Joy and said "Hi, how are you?"

My answer was "Welcome to the Pokemon Center, do you need your Pokemon healed?" Then she held up a cardboard sign with Yes? and No? and, if you looked REALLY close, THE ORANGE.

Once again, I was clueless as to what to do, so I said "Um, yeah?"

No response, just her holding the sign and having a stupid grin on her face.

"Noooo? Yes?" Nothing. I decided to touch the Yes? part of the sign.

Nurse Joy reacted instantly, grabbing my Chickorita and my Poke Ball with Caterpie in it while yelling "KA-PEEK!". She then threw them into a device that looked like a cradle, put the lid on then pressed a few buttons on a machine next to the cradle where the Pokemon were being held against their will. It then produced it's own little fanfare as Nurse Joy took out them and shoved them at my chest while saying "Your Pokemon are done, their fine, now get out."

I took my Pokemons (Pokemen?) and said "Thanks, so, how much do I owe you?"

Joy's response: "Welcome to the Pokemon Center, do you need your Pokemon healed?"

"I just healed them, why would I..." I started, but I wondered what would happen if I pressed No? So I did.

The next thing I knew, I was literally kicked out of the Poke Center by Nurse Joy while she was yelling "And stay out!"

"OW! That hurt, dammit!" I said to myself. I looked up. Damn, nighttime already? I had nowhere to sleep, so I had 2 choices:

A. Go back to the old man's house and ask to sleep there, and he would let me like the nice, kind, not-crazy old man he was.

Or

2\. Set up a bed out here in the cold, dark outside where I be defenseless against an attack, suffer from cold temperatures at night and be shunned by this town's residents since they would think I was lower class.

I thought about it for a minute, then I made up my mind. I started to head towards...some soft grass to lay on. What, you thought I would ask the old man? No way, he's wierd. Anyway, as I tried to fall asleep, I realized that I had finished today. I had completed my first day on my road to become the champion. And I knew that when I was the Champion, I'd remember all the memorable times I've had: meeting my rival, winning my first Pokemon battle, my first trip to the Poke Center, and I would definately remember my very first day of my adventure.

Although, I kind of wished I wouldn't remember today.

A/N: Hey! So, while Stryker is sleeping, I want to tell you a few things:

1\. Remember to review! Always! R&amp;R!

2\. I'm (most likely) going to continue this whether or not anyone tells me to. No promises though, so I might inexplicably end if someone writes "This fanfic is stupid and dumb and has many errors and the author should stick to reading fanfics instead of writing them." (Well, excuse me, princess!) Joking aside, I'm most likely definatly going on with this fic, but no promises.

3\. Critism is allowed, but only constructive critism. If it's THAT bad, I might ask you to help me by co-writing a chapter or two, or maybe coming up with ideas for a chapter. Whichever works. If you want.

Warmpie56 out!


	3. Chapter 3: Rivals

A/N: Hello and welcome to the next installment of "Pokemon: Soulgold"! Before we begin,  
1\. I own nothing.  
2\. Part of this story was inspired by some ideas a user gave me. You can thank them for that.  
3\. Dang! 6 reviews, a follow AND a favorite? Thank you guys so much! I didn't think I'd get this far! This whole story would be thrown away if no one reviewed or anything! So once again, thanks! Alright, here we go!

Chapter 3: Rivals

"Yawwwwwn...Morning already?" I said to myself. I got up, stretched...and winced in pain. Remember how I said that I'd be defenseless against an attack? Turns out these people REALLY hate commoners. I was bruised, but nothing serious. I checked my Pokemon. Thankfully, nothing happened to them. As I went to leave, the old man approached me.

"Wait a minute, kid, where do you think you're going?" he asked me.

"I'm leaving this town..." I replied.

"But it's dangerous to go alone! Take this!"

You got the Town Map!

"Well, uh, thanks, mister. I'm just gonna go now...Bye."

I slowly began to walk away from him, then began to run. As I fled in terror, I ran into a random guy, and we both fell.

"Sorry, sir," I began, then I realized he had Pokemon with him. He seemed awfully familiar. I asked him, "Wait, aren't you that one redhead guy who stole a Pokemon?"

"Yep. I have a name by the way." He replied. "My name is Steve."

"Alright, Steve, let's have a battle!" I challenged. The text box appeared again, saying "Rival Steve wants to battle!"

"Caterpie, I choose you!" I exclaimed. "Alright then kid," Steve said, "Go, Weedle!"

"Caterpie, use Headbutt!" I shouted. I picked up Caterpie, and threw it head-first into Weedle. The text box said "It's super effective! The foe's Weedle fainted!" Steve was on his knees, holding Weedle and crying. "Weedle...*sniff* Oh, Weedle..." Then he looked at me. "How could you do this?! Caterpie can't learn Headbutt! That wasn't even a real Pokemon battle!"

"Psh. Typical rival. Can't learn to accept defeat." He looked at me with hateful eyes. "You'll pay for this. YOU HEAR ME? YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!?" I ignored him and went on to Violet City. As I entered, a guy in a white dress and black short-shorts came up to me.

"Hey, mishter!" He said, "Wanna join me and my friendsh in the Coshplay Club?" I looked at him. "Cosplay...Club?" He nodded. "Yesh, the Coshplay Club! Where people can dressh up like their favorite charactersh from moviesh and shuch. I'm dresshed as Pit from Kid Icarush. Wanna join?" I didn't know how to respond, so I said "Um, no thanks." I walked toward the Poke Center, but he ran in front of me. "OK then, seeing ash how you're a Pokemon Trainer, how about a battle? If I win, you join the Club. And if you win, I'll give you some Rare Candiesh." I thought about it, then said "Deal."

Random Nerd wants to fight!

"Go, Pit!" He said, sending out Cascoon. "Pit, use Harden!"

"My turn! Go, Chikorita! Chikorita, use Razor Leaf!" Chikorita began shooting leafs out of it's horn-thing and launched them at Cascoon. "Alright," my opponent said, "Pit, use...Harden!"

But it failed!

Chikorita unleashed Razor Leaf!

Pit fainted!

I fist-pumped. "Yes! Now give me my Rare Candies!" No answer. I looked around, but I couldn't find him. He disappeared. Until I found him climbing a fence, then running away. I sighed. No Rare Candies then, I guess. I saw the Poke Center and went in. To my suprise, I found Steve in there.

"Please, ma'am, there has to be SOMETHING you can do..."

"Kid, we've already healed your Pokemon."

"It's not about that! I mean, how can I get revenge on...that guy?"

I decided to make myself known. "I have a name, you know."

The sore loser turned around. "YOU...YOU LITLLE PIECE OF..." From there, let's just say he used some choice words toward me. "What's the matter? Angry that you lost?" I laughed and ran out. Man, it felt nice having a rival to compete with. Although, maybe he's right. Maybe I did push it too far. Maybe I should have apologized. Maybe I shouldn't have done those things or said those things I did and said to him.

Nah...

A/N: Hello guys! Some things to put here:  
1\. The Kid Icarus fanatic thing was the suggested idea. They had other ideas, but they were too random and I thought this would have been the best idea.  
2\. R&amp;R.  
3\. Still taking suggestions and offers to co-write some chapters.  
4\. Stryker is going to the gym next few chapters, but I'm not sure what to do from there. I know I'll come up with something, but nothing comes to mind now.

Warmpie56 has left the Union Room.


	4. Chapter 4: A Special Someone

A/N: Alright, guys, here's the next chapter of Pokemon: Soulgold! Just note, this will be a longer chapter than usual, to make up for my not putting up stories on time. Sorry about that guys!

Chapter 4: A Special Someone

Anyway, as I left the Poke Center, I realized something very important: I forgot to heal my Pokemons (Pokemen?) at the Center. I turned around, only to walk into a girl standing right behind me, and we both fell down. "Oh, sorry about that." I told her as I got up. "Oh, that's okay." she replied, getting herself up. I held out my hand. "Hi, I'm Stryker," I told her. She didn't quite respond, she just kept staring at me. "Um...Hello? Anyone there?" I asked. She shook her head. "Huh? Oh, sorry. I was daydreaming. My name is Ashley." She said with a blush.

"OK...Hey, have you seen my red and white baseball cap anywhere?" I almost always wear my hat, because I thought it looked cool with my red shirt, black pants and gray sneakers, even if it covers up my short, black hair. She held out a hat. "This it?"

"Yep, that's the one! Thanks!" I reached out to grab it, but when I tried to pull it from her, she wouldn't let go. "OK, you can let go now..."I told her, but the more I pulled, the harder she pulled back. Finally, she gave up and gave me my hat back. I put it on and told her "Thanks again. Bye, Ashley." I began to head toward the Gym, but she grabbed my arm. "Where are you going?" she asked me.

"To the Gym so I can earn Badges and someday become the Pokemon Champion!"

"Oh, well, I was gonna ask if you wanted to hang out with me sometime."

I was kind of surprised by this. "Hang out with you? We haven't even known each other for 5 minutes yet!" She replied with a low voice, "I knew you...". I sighed. She didn't look too bad with her long brown hair, pink top, red skirt, black leggings and red boots, and she obviously wanted to be friends with me. I gave in. "Ugh...FINE." The moment I accepted, she looked as though she had won the lottery. She grasped my arm and began running toward the Poke Mart, saying "Yes! Let's go!"

When we went inside, I was almost dumbfounded by the size of the store. It seemed more like a mall than a small shop. "Alright, we're here," I began, "What did you want to do first?"

"I dunno...I was thinking we could just walk around and go into stores that looked interesting." So that's what we did: Aimlessly walk around and begin window shopping. I was bored out of my mind; Ashley looked like she was having the time of her life. As we walked along, Ashley kept trying to hold my hand for some reason. And while we were walking, people took a look at us and began laughing or sayng "Aw..." as if us hanging out was CUTE. After an hour that felt like several years, we decided to sit down at the food court to sit down. I only ordered a Coke, and she didn't get anything. The entie time we were there, Ashley was telling me about sometime incredibly boring story about her friends or something. I wasn't listening, just resting my head on my shoulder and throwing in the occasional "uh-huh" and "you don't say". When she had finished her century-long story, I was ready to leave. I got up, but she grabbed my arm again, asking me "Where you going now?"

"To the G-" I began, but I stopped myself when I looked outside. It was nighttime. "Never mind." I left her and began to look for a soft patch of grass to lay on, to no avil, as the ENTIRE FUCKING CITY WAS BUILT ON STONE. I gave up and put my head down on the cold, hard stone when Ashley came up to me.

"There are better places to take a nap than on the ground. You know, I know a place that's warm and has a roof, meals and a bed."

"No, I am NOT going home with you. Neither of us are even 15 years old!"

"That's not what I meant. I was talking about the Pokemon Center." She smiled, turned away and quickly whispered, "Orifyouwanttocomesleepwithmeatmyhousethatwouldbecooltoo."

"What?"

"Nothing. Let's go." She began to walk towards the Center, when I asked her, "What do you mean, LET'S go?"

"I didn't have a place to really sleep either." She replied while crossing her fingers. "So why did you say "let's go"?"

"I was gonna walk with you there..."

"Fine." We began our walk together, and she was still trying to hold my hand. When we walked in, Nurse Joy greeted us with her oh-so-familar "Hi, welcome to the Pokemon Center, do you need to heal your Pokemons?" Ashley answered her with, "No, we just need one room." Nurse Joy looked at us with a smirk, and I quickly threw in, "She meant to ask for two rooms, please." I sighed in releif that I wouldn't have to share a room with her, but I sighed too soon, as Nurse Joy informed us that there was only one room avalible. I groaned and turned to Ashley, who was too busy blushing and smiling to notice me trying to get her attention. I told her, "You know what, I think I saw some comfortable looking grass over there, so you can just have the room..." I tried to leave, but Ashley litteraly dragged me to our room.

After we got into our room, she asked me, "Why do you want to leave so bad? Do you have somewhere to go or something? Or do you just..." Tears began to form in her eyes, "not like me?"

I felt contradicted: On one hand, this girl has been nothing but trouble since we met, she's uber annoying and she's just weird. Plus, I have the perfect way to crush her feelings. On the other hand, she's crying for me and she's trying to be friends with me. (I'm starting to suspect that she LIKES likes me. I doubt it though.) She seems like a nice girl, overly attached, sure, but nice. And I don't know if I could drop down to THAT level.

"Look, it's not that I don't like you, it's just weird sleeping with a girl at this age." I replied.

"Does that mean you'll stay?"

"If it means I don't have to get into bed with you."

She ran up to me and squeezed me. "Thank you thank you thank you SO MUCH! I don't really have any other friends, so you'll have to do."

The Next Day...

I woke up to a slight pain on top of my head and to a delicous smell. "Mmmmm...What is that?"

"It's breakfast." Ashley said. "I made it myself."

"So you got up early just to do this?" "Yep." I was about eat something from the huge buffet she made, but then I realized that the Gym would open soon. "Oh, sorry, gotta go. Thanks for the food and room." I waved goodbye, but she didn't seem like she wanted me to go.

"Stryker...Please don't go. I'm completely lonely without you! If you leave, all I'll have to remember you is a strand of your hair!" I said to myself, "THAT'S what the small pain was from!" I continued out the door.

"Please Stryker! Don't go! I'll pay for another night! I'll treat you like a prince! I'll be your slave! Anything you want! Just don't go!"

I kept walking out the door, walked to Nurse Joy, paid for the room and left to the Gym. Only to come to Ashley standing by the closed Gym, waiting for me.

"Oh, hi, Stryker! Strange running into you here!"

"You knew I was coming here, and why, but why are YOU here?"

"Because, I want to become a Pokemon Master, just like you!"

I sighed. "You can't just...Never mind. How are you gonna get food and shelter and such?"

"Well, I was thinking...maybe...wecouldtraveltogetherandyouwouldfindaplacetosleepandiwouldcook or something."

Immediatly, I almost said no, but she DID make a good point. "...OK then."

As I said that, she beamed. Ashley ran up and nearly squeezed the life out of me. She seemed happy that I was going to have my adventure with her. Maybe others too. So much had happened in these past two days, it almost seems unreal. I mean, I got a travellng partner, I, uh...

No, wait, that was it.

A/N: Once again, sorry for being so late. I really kept ya waiting, huh? Ha, dem 2 MGS series references tho. Seriously though,

1\. Still taking requests to co-write and come up with ideas for chapters.

2\. Anything you guys wanna see in the next chapters, just PM me about or review about it.

3\. R&amp;R.

4\. A follow goes to anyone who can find the Fire Emblem Awakening reference.

kthxbi.  
~Warmpie56


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